When I get better...
For the longest time I would often think, "When I'm better, I'm going to... " The thoughts and dreams were endless with that phrase. At some point this last year I stopped saying it to myself. There were no more "when I'm better." My perspective gradually changed to something more along the lines of "This is what I can handle right now." or "We'll see how I'm feeling that day." or "I'll try my best." I can't decide if that's defeat or just being realistic. I'm in the midst of the journey, focusing on the present. I don't know where I'll be when I'm through this treatment, if there is a better or if it's more the same. I didn't expect this treatment to be easy and I was right. I don't think anyone goes into any type of treatment for illness thinking it's going to be without trials. It's going to be incredibly hard. And often times the healing doesn't begin until afte...