Sunshine Journal

I so badly wanted to make the title 'new year, new me'. But I couldn't find a way to spin that into truth, so I think partially improved works ;) I've had a lot of people ask how I'm doing. Which is such a great question. One that I struggle to answer actually. Depending on the moment I may share some of the depths of it, but otherwise I'm vague or avoidant.  While some parts have improved, like the MALS, there are several other issues that have not. I knew this going into the MALS surgery, but I secretly hoped it would magically help more things. The downside of abdominal compressions is that body’s anatomy is so interconnected that addressing one compression can shift blood flow and organ positioning, potentially worsening or exposing another compression. It can also disrupt compensatory mechanisms your body relied on before surgery, leading to new issues. Changes in nerve and tissue tension from surgery may aggravate borderline problems, and those with one co...

One would think it would be easier to write while on leave. Except, when it's a medical leave I guess it's not as simple as I thought. I struggled to write in the months before surgery and it hasn't gotten any better since. Most often it's because my head isn't clear or there just isn't the energy. And if I can get those two things to coincide with a window of time, I usually need to prioritize it on something else. About two weeks ago I had someone reach out to me via FB messenger that started with, "I came across your blog and it really spoke to me." I was so elated! I found Ben and told him straightaway. I obviously don't want anyone to share my suffering. But that's not realistic, so I was happy my words found someone who needed it. Shortly after that I had someone from my hometown reach out who knew someone having health issues and thought of me. She thought I might be of help because our stories sounded similar. I can't even put into ...