Sunshine Journal

I'm slowing coming out of my anesthesia fog from my venogram. The doctor comes in and tells me, "It was worse than I thought... " He then explains some of what he's done. Something about about embolizing and coiling. I'm thinking to myself, 'Oh NO!' So I ask, "What about my renal vein?" He tells me it isn't compressed and my iliac vein looks good too. He's called away for a moment and I turn to look at mom, "What is he talking about, can you have him draw a picture?" I just keep thinking that I hope whatever he's done was the right move, because it probably can't be undone. This is a good time for us all to take a moment to wonder, "Why did Ashlee not know all the possibilities going into this?" And this is a great question. I asked myself the same thing. He said he hadn't planned on doing anything while in there and I just went with that. I didn't take time to dwell on 'What Ifs' and ask more q...

I think it’s been established that things have been a bit chaotic in our household. Even with these challenges going on it’s so easy to see how blessed we still are! Our support system is incredible and not a day goes by that I don’t take a moment to look at my family/friends and see how fortunate I am.  I've been taking life one hour at a time as of late. It's been nothing short of challenging. I can finally say that tax deadline has past. At least the real big one. There's still plenty of work to do but it doesn't feel quite as intense. Which just means I feel less pressure to suck it up and keep going. To be clear, this pressure only comes from myself. Most people don't know or understand how much I struggle each day. And that's fair, because I try to put on a good face. I don't want to be a sick person. Thankfully I do have people that just get it and see me and I don't have to explain a thing. It's no longer unusual to disappear to the quiet roo...

written by Benjamin Suker I’ve spent a large part of the last decade as the one holding things together, even when the world feels like it’s crumbling all around.  We’ve lost several people close to us, some unexpectedly, some we watched suffer for years.  Most of you are aware Ashlee has been dealing with chronic illness, and we are hopefully close to some relief for her.  Her & I often have conversations about how the narrative around her health issues is difficult for people to wrap their head around.  How there isn’t awareness yet, and how perspectives are different for diseases like cancer.  Well….. damn. After Ashlee recommended I have a mole looked at, and a nearly 4 month referral wait, I met with a dermatologist Friday, March 15 th.  I didn’t think much of it, spent the last 40 years feeling nearly invincible.  The next week Otis spent 2 nights in the hospital, he’s doing okay, but the fact that this is a footnote to the story is a sign of...

We arrive at Magnolia Market and it's love at first sight, just as I imagined. I'm fully aware that it's a tourist haven, but I don't care. I feel happy and that's all that matters. They have so many food trucks to choose from! We get some street tacos, because we all love them. Violet and I then wander and shop. She is just as happy as I am and we have the best time. Ben is around, kind of following us, but also keeping tabs on March Madness ;)  She's just precious! After a few hours we get back in the car and head for Austin. Driving in Texas traffic is less than desirable and I can feel Ben's stress. But we eventually get there and it's incredible. The weather is absolutely perfect and the rooftop pool area is breathtaking because of the view. We wander down Rainey Street to grab food and a drink. Thankfully it's still earlier in the evening as it's not a very appropriate area for Violet. As soon as we're back at the hotel Violet has her s...