Sunshine Journal

Here we are again. I don't know if I've ever thought, surely this is the hardest thing I'll go through. I mean challenges will continue to happen in life. But I did however think I might get a wee break, maybe, possibly?! We'll come back to that in a minute. At work we've been focusing on client experience. We've embarked on a multi-session training course about it. In one of our sessions there was a theme that kept popping up, how we make people feel. This is all very valid, but I think I was still a little in awe that in the corporate world we were talking so much about feelings. I personally love talking about feelings! No one is surprised by this. Anyhow, this discussion made me think about the keepsake I recently got after Ginny passed. Several of us ordered something with Ginny's fingerprint embossed on it. On the back we could engrave whatever we wanted, but with only so many lines and characters. When we were planning her service we reflected a lot o...

May 2, 2023 - Met with GI Specialist Was advised to do a SIBO breath test and schedule endoscopy/colonoscopy. June 27, 2023 - Positive SIBO breath test As you can see it's been two months since my visit with the GI doctor. The breath test was on backorder and then it took a week or so to get the result. By this point I was certain I had SIBO based on the symptoms I was experiencing. My gut was essentially just uncomfortable all the time. I chose to go the herbal route as I wasn't seeing improvement with the antibiotic. It did help and a lot of the bloating and belching subsided. Thank goodness! August 1, 2023 I mark this day because it was a big training day at work for the accountants and I assisted in planning the event. The highlight for me was watching the accountants run around the office for the scavenger hunt! And probably laughing with my work bestie as we put together the balloon arch (because why not add in the extra work of a balloon arch! lol) Kerstyn and I out gett...

well. it's been a hot minute since I've written on here. I've contemplated it numerous times and either talked myself out of it or just couldn't find the time. It turns out that adding a baby to the mix takes away free time... who knew!? ;) We love our little Otis though and he's worth all that time. Just the other morning as I was getting ready I watched Ben, Theodore, and Violet rush into Otis's room because they heard him waking up and couldn’t wait to see him. I paused for a moment to absorb how wonderful it is that he brings so much extra joy. 6 months later and the kids still think he's all that and a bag of chips! School has come to an end for the year. Theodore is actually quite sad about it and I think Violet is too. Though they do have some fun summer adventures to look forward to. Theodore and Ben are off on a road trip together and Violet is at Camp Patterson for a week to jumpstart summer. I will be hanging with the littlest man and working. I...

January 16th marked five years from when I started this blog. FIVE YEARS! I didn't expect anything to come of it. I just needed to write one day, so I did. And then I went against every fear and shared what I wrote. I'm not sure if it comes across that I'm this bold, fearless warrior... (you know, like Mulan or something like that)... but I'm certainly not. After all this time you'd think it would be easier to be vulnerable and put myself out there, but it's not. I'm just getting better at pushing the button really fast and then running away so I don't delete it. You wouldn't believe the number of times I've thought about wiping out this entire blog. Or deleting all my insta and tik tok posts. Gosh, there's so much vulnerability out there from me. I have some moments of complete confidence and then later on I panic about it. It's fine. Everything is fine. And then people have the audacity to say nice things to me about it! Unreal. My ther...

About three months ago I started working with a new therapist. She was highly recommended by my doctor... over two years ago. At the time I was already working with someone, but it was a somewhat different approach. I figured it was worth a try. Well, there was a waitlist. And in order to get on the waitlist you had to fill out the paperwork. I received said paperwork and then let it sit on my desk for awhile. Long enough to fall to the bottom of a pile. I eventually filled out this paperwork and mailed it in. They called and said the wait was a YEAR! Alrighty, folks. Just put me on the list. About 13-14 months after I got on that list the clinic called me and asked if I still wanted to see her. Yup! Let's do it! "Okay, ma'am, her next opening is in 3.5 months." Right, yup, sure, I might be delivering a baby, but just sign me up. I'll interject this story to add that my previous therapist, whom I came to adore, stopped doing therapy sessions this past Spring so sh...

Last night I was holding Otis getting ready to make him a bottle. I was being silly interacting with him and Ben says, "Have you had a drink?" (okay, I'm paraphrasing this convo because I can't remember word for word). I looked at him weird and said, "No, why?". He's like, "You're just being really goofy. Don't get me wrong, I like it." So I thought back on the previous few hours and said, "Oh! I had some ibuprofen." He goes, "That makes a lot of sense, you're not in so much pain, so you're being yourself." And then we laughed because it's true. For some reason this interaction really makes me smile. I could dwell on the part that I'm not always myself. But instead, I think of the glimpse we did see. When I have these moments it's so freeing. Enjoying myself, being in the moment without having to try. Pure magic. And now Ben knows that deep down his wife is still a weirdo ;) (note: ibuprofen doesn...

Hi Everyone! I’m just going to do a quick overview as recounting the last few days in detail will take me forever and I just don’t have it in me this morning. But! I know people want updates and it’s getting hard to keep up with messaging everyone so I’m putting it in one spot. Backstory for those who do not know… I took Otis to the ER Monday, December 5, at about 10:45am. Prior to me rushing out of the house in a panic he went cold, blue/gray/purple in skin coloring, and just limp in my arms. Yes, I thought he was dying. I’ve never witnessed anything like that before in my life. I don’t think I will ever forget that visual. And I’m sure Ben will never forget hearing me over the phone. They got us in right away (thank you Mayo for taking a scared mom seriously). The nurse weighed him and took his temp and just started rushing down the hall without a word. Ben caught up with us and basically there was a lot of chaos for the next hour. (At one point I found out his temp was 91.7 degrees,...